It’s been over a month now since she has been taken away from us. And until now, I still can remember every single detail of that dreadful day.

Sunday, March 7. I feel different. I know something is wrong. With a mind full of doubt, we went to the hospital for confirmation. The doctor kind of confirmed it. She didn’t directly say the words but I can feel it. We were crying on the way home because we knew it. Our source of happiness would not last.

Monday, March 8. I was still hoping to receive good news. But it never came. Before I can even accept the fact that she was gone, with no more heartbeat, I was told that I have to go through operation and stuffs. Can’t I have just at least a minute to process everything that is going on? Can’t I even mourn for the death of my child?

My baby is gone. I won’t see how she looks like. Would it be like in my dream that she looks like her dad or she would exactly like me? Few days before this happened, we dreamt of her.  In my dreams, I already gave birth to a baby girl and she looks exactly like her dad. She was so beautiful and healthy looking baby. She even smiled at me in my dreams. In Sherwyn’s dream, it’s the opposite. The baby girl looks like me, with a round face and cute smile. We were even laughing when we shared our dreams to each other and even joked, “Baby ha? Ang hilig mo talaga magpakita sa panaginip,” at the same time touching my belly.

I missed her. There are times when I still touch my belly the way I used to when she was still there. I missed talking to her, sharing to her some stories about me and her dad. I missed the sudden movement from my belly that reminds me that she’s there.

I believe that God will give me the same baby next time I conceive so, for the meantime, goodbye Angel Simone. Mommy and daddy love you so much.